A story of insomnia , intuition & creativity

“I believe in intuition and inspiration... At times I feel certain I am right while not knowing the reason” (Albert Einstein)

 

Hello everyone. This post is going to be a bit different because I really want to figure out a way to word my reasoning behind my art that actually does justice to my “whys”. I have several posts in the past where I am trying to explain this feeling, but those do not even get you close to understanding.  Last night I couldn’t sleep…again. Had it been a weekend, I would have gotten up to paint. I kind of wish I did because having a creative mind and all those hours to do nothing but think can be a confusing place.  I find myself thinking of the perfect way to describe how I feel when I am listening to music and feel the need to create.  I can’t really tell you why, I just KNOW it in my bones…. I came to the conclusion last night that it all comes down to Intuition. The whole concept of intuition fascinates me and I think that now since I am somewhat acting on my intuition… I am viewing it a bit differently.

 

Nights like this I lay there questioning why I am doing this? How do you know the difference between intuition or if you are just crazy? Then I go into self doubt. I have starting following some amazing artists on Instagram who are so good that it makes me second guess my own talents- but then I think that they are just drawing portraits of celebrities, etc… there is no heart involved…this makes me feel better about my own work...and the list goes on….

 

Are you confused and dizzy yet? Welcome to my world. I also lay there and think, is lee’s brain this jumbled when he is up and writing songs? Is that what was going on in that beautiful mind when he wrote “Don’t be afraid”, Because acting on your intuition and what you feel in your heart can be scary! You have to trust that voice inside you and not think about if there are people out there that will actually “get it”…..

 

All this thinking led me to checking out all the quotes on Pinterest also, which gave me the idea for this post. I found so many quotes that spoke to me and I thought they’d help me explain my reasoning to you. Are you ready?

 

The textbook definition of Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without inference and/or the use of reason the word intuition comes from Latin verb intueri which is usually translated as to look inside or to contemplate. Intuition is thus often conceived as a kind of inner perception, sometimes regarded as real lucidity or understanding.

Intuition provides us with views, understandings, judgments, or beliefs that we cannot in every case empirically verify or rationally justify

 

Intuition comes in several forms: 
- a sudden flash of insight, visual or auditory
- a predictive dream
- a spinal shiver of recognition as something is occurring or told to you
- a sense of knowing something already
- a sense of déjà vu 
- a snapshot image of a future scene or event
- knowledge, perspective or understanding divined from tools which respond to the subconscious mind

 

When it comes down to how I get my ideas for my paintings, I rely heavily on all of those listed above.  Every. Single. Last. One. This is how I just KNOW……. Isn’t that fascinating? I think so…. Especially with my last painting which wasn’t even based on a song?  Again, I laid there just over thinking and something just told me to get up and sketch….didn’t know why, just felt I had to. Then I wake up to find out that Lee was up writing a song. Ha-ha, excuse my language for a sec, but that shit is just weird….

 

These are the kinds of things that bring me to get lost in all these art & intuition quotes… I get lost reading these, I feel like they just “get me”….

 

Here are some of my favorites and a little insight as to why they speak to me as an artist…..

 

1. “A good artist lets his intuition lead him wherever it wants.” Lao Tzu
2. “Good design begins with honesty, asks tough questions, and comes from collaboration and from trusting your intuition.”
   Freeman Thomas
3. “The painting leads the painter, and it becomes an intuitive experience” Ardath Davis

 

I love those. But #2 I think fits the best. The fact that I am painting honestly from my heart and what I feel and it IS collaboration. Maybe not an intentional, as I am pretty sure Lee does not write songs with the thought of how I’d paint it… lol... but you get my point. On a side note, how amazing would that be though? Lol.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Then there are quotes like this that take my brain in a whole other direction: 

 

“Intuition is an essential part of the whole experience of living. Although it will not help predict the future or how people will behave, using intuition as a guide makes life more rewarding. It helps you follow what seems to be the right path, even when social convention or common sense appears to tell differently” 
― Sylvia Clare, 

 

 

I read this and then start thinking about conversations I have with people regarding my art and them trying to rationalize it. (trust me, I have tried to rationalize it.. you just can’t)

 

So, there are very few people in the world that I feel “get it” when I talk. Mare is one of them. I do not feel weird telling her some of my inner thoughts because you seems to know exactly what I mean (and I cherish this, it’s rare, and again I can thank Lee for allowing me to meet her) We have talked many times about intuition because I KNOW that is what drives my need to create, but I still just don’t understand it.  Her explanation makes so much sense to me:

 

“Intuition is basically your heart speaking. Sometimes, your heart just knows more than your head does.  The heart usually defies logic... what it feels can't be explained, it just IS. Logic comes from the brain.... it kind of plays devil's advocate to your heart. It questions, causes doubt, makes you over-think. But which one is honest? Which one should you believe and trust? Is common sense always right? Does there always have to be a reason? Sometimes it's easier to follow your brain... follow logic. Is that where the honesty is though? I think following your heart... following intuition... although it may sometimes be more difficult, is where truth lies. When you follow your heart and intuition, everything that comes from that, is strictly FROM the heart. The heart doesn't lie. When you don't follow intuition, and listen to logic... I think whatever comes from that is "less"... it's been smeared. – Mare”

 

 

Here  are some of the questions I am asked on a daily basis by people outside of the Twitter word and FamiLee, my answers and also quotes that I feel answer those for me:

 

* Q: Why are you here? Why don’t you have an art job?

A: I went to art school and hated people telling me how to do things and basically teaching me to use my unique talent to draw exactly what other people tell me to. That is soulless to me and not what I want. I’d be miserable and it would take the joy of creating for me.   - I know intuitively when the work is right, no training can teach you this, it is simply a matter of feeling. (Robert Ryan)

 

*Q: If you do not want to make money off of these Lee inspired paintings, why do it? A: I do not want to make money off of Lee’s success. I do not roll that way, I do it because I love it and that is that. It’s the only time, oddly enough, that I feel like myself…..

 

And last but not least, I have been told by more than a few fellow, accomplished artists that I am limiting myself as an artist by painting only Lee songs. My answer to that is:  But that is all I want to do and it makes me happy.

End of story.

 

New painting: "Maker of the Music"

“Maker of the Music”

Hello everyone. I know most of you were expecting my next post to be on track # 10 “Stay Away”, but something came up. I promise I will finish that one soon! 

This painting is called “Maker of the Music”. It is not based on a song this time, just merely inspired by Lee as a person & musician. It’s one ofthose impromptu paintings that end up being my favorite. 

On Friday I was at work and Mare had sent me the links to the Accoustic Nations interviews of Lee. Of course I had to watch them right away. On the segment where he was talking about learning to play the guitar, the camera ran across his guitar and something just made me screen-shot that image. I KNEW I had to paint it. The interview was fantastic! He was so happy and excited talking about his thought process and how he learned to play the guitar, how he writes his songs, etc. You can see these interviews here:http://www.guitarworld.com/acoustic-nation-video-our-exclusive-interview-lee-dewyze 

When Lee is excited about something, his entire face lights up and his smile is contagious. It is absolutely adorable! BUT ANYWAY, back to the painting.... 

Since I was at work, I just quick wrote down some key words for the image that was in my head and I went about my day. 

Now this is the amazing part when ideas hit you without you even see them coming. I laid in bed the other night tossing and turning because I was thinking about what I wanted this painting to look like. Finally at 2 am, I got up and snuck downstairs to sketch it out. I had this vision of old, weathered wood with a faded design in the background behind the image that I had in mind. I sketched it up, wrote some notes and went back to bed. I wish I would have looked at my phone because I woke up to see that around the same time I was up, Lee tweeted, “It’s late. And I’m writing a song”  How weird is that? Seriously, when it comes to my art inspired by his music... that happens A LOT” 

Naturally this made me want to get it onto canvas asap! I was worried how I’d get that wood look without making it look cheesy & fake.  I was so into this that we had people over for dinner... I had the painting on the Kitchen island painting layers AS I cooked dinner (master multi-tasker, right?) then after dinner, while my husband and his friend talked about bikes, of course... I worked on my layering to get that wood appearance. and ya know what? When I finished it, it looked EXACTLY like it did in my head. I can  not even begin to explain to you how excited and pleased I was.  

here is a close up of the wood effect I was able to accomplish: 

I started with a base color with a tiny comb over it, then added a crackle agent, then a top-lighter color and it just evolved from there. LOL, to quote Mark’s friend, “Holy Crap! That is amazing, and I got to see you start it!” 

Well, anyway, This is my latest painting. It kind of named it’s self: “Maker of the Music” because that is what Lee IS, it’s even his profile description on his Instagram ;-) 

Hope you enjoy!!!! 

I hope to have “Stay Away” finished shortly after Christmas! I’m not the best at painting people, so I am taking this one slow and need to wait until I have long stretches of free time to give it all my attention. 

Until then... I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday!!!!!!!! 

-Jenn 

Danielle's first Lee DeWyze Show!!!

Hello everyone! It's been a while since the last post, but I've been away and also in the process of working on "Stay Away" :-) 

Below are my sister's thoughts on her very first Lee show at the Keswick Theater in PA on Nov 9th....check it out. It's safe to say... She is a fan! 

Ok I know this post is way over due but better late than never right? Let me begin by saying that I love that the show was acoustic. Don't get me wrong I love guitars and drums and all that but there's just something about acoustic that I love. Like it lets you hear every pitch and every tone in a singer's voice that are sometimes hard to recognize with a band. Lee's voice...oh my what can I say. Sexy, sultry, relaxed! I loved the faces he made because you could literally see how his songs affect him emotionally. He's not just a guy that sings he's a guy who feels every lyric as it flows from his lips. Then I got to meet him.....Lee is down to earth, funny and grateful. I've been to many concerts and met many bands and very few are as down to earth as Lee is. I would definitely attend another show!! As a bonus to my LeeDay with my sister I got to see her interact with her.....as I like to call him...her muse! Watching the two of them talk I felt like they've known each other their entire lives! I always say people are brought into your life for a reason, and since my sister has "found" Lee she's been inspired more than I have ever seen! My sister's art and Lee's music...wow every song he sang I saw her paintings in my head and they just mesh together so well. The songs are deep, but it's the passion in his voice that pushes that feeling into your whole body and it takes over! Can't wait for the next show!!! 

-Danielle 

1 of 3: Danielle's final thoughts on this Visual review of Lee DeWyze's new album "Frames"

You ever truly believe that you know someone in and out, from top to bottom, at his or her worst and best? Then out of the blue you realize you were completely wrong? Yeah me too but that's not my point. Ha ha 
 My point is that I thought my sister and I were and have always been completely different, but after this project I found out; with much enthusiasm, that we are alike in many ways. More ways maybe than we realize.
 Like you, I've read my sister's influences and feelings behind her art. I've read Mare's point of view (I must say she painted us a picture with her words alone) and then I listen to the songs associated with the paintings. I'm amazed by how each of us begin with the same notions and emotional feelings. 
 The magic that art and music can make together is mesmerizing. It connects people that are otherwise miles apart! Seeing the paintings before discovering the songs gave me this little niche to rest in while listening to Lee put his heart right out there with no doubts or regrets. Who would've know my opinion would lead me down a journey of discovery? 

-Danielle Mazzo 

2 of 3: Mare's Final thoughts on Lee DeWyze's album "Frames"

When Jenn first mentioned doing the blog together, with me writing my thoughts on the art and music, my initial reaction was..... no. What if what I write is “wrong”? What if what I write “boxes in” the music and the art? What if it has a negative impact in any way? My self doubts then turned to self-consciousness... I was uncomfortable letting the world know how the art and music make me feel and what I think about, and then beyond that.... people don’t really care about my thoughts and feelings... interpretation of art and music is an individualistic thing. It’s personal. I felt that way through the entire process...until I sat down to write the ‘Don’t Be Afraid’ post. When you immerse yourself in music and art, and the deep down thoughts and feelings they bring about, they open up a different world or way of thinking. That’s the brilliance behind the music and the art. It was never really about anything I thought or felt. It was about the bigger picture....what music and art can do for everyone when you find that connection. When you find people that can speak to your past, present and future, your heart and soul, and open you up to new ways of thinking, imagining, feeling...or things you’ve buried...and they do itwithout speaking....that’s where the magic lies. When they allow you the freedom to explore yourself and maybe find little pieces of yourself that you didn’t know existed. Living within the brushstrokes, lyrics and notes of the story of Frames, I learned about opening up my own heart and soul (which Lee and Jenn have to do every time they create something) and trusting enough to put it out there for other people. Not in fear of judgement so much as just letting people in. What I’ve had to say doesn’t really matter.... it’s always been about the circle of inspiration. At the beginning of all of this, I had said: “When you really listen to a song that affects you, it becomes more than notes and words. It takes on a life of it’s own.” Music creates images for all of us, it takes us somewhere else, it becomes our own story....and it inspires us. I was lucky enough to be a part of putting a story together....

Frames took me through so many thoughts and feelings, not just in my mind or heart, but ALL of me. I could feel every song....and then see every song. If I had to sum up each song with one word:

Fight: .......Persistence

Fire Away: ......Determination

Silver Lining: ........Hope

Frames: ...... Reflection

Like I Do: .......Memories

Open Your Eyes: ......Trust

You Don’t Know Me: .......Closure

The Ride: .........Clarity

Don’t Be Afraid: ........Vulnerability

Stay Away: .........Forbidden

Little Did I Know: .........Deception

Who Would’ve Known: .......Love

Breathing In: .........Life

13 visuals..... 13 pictures that create a snapshot of the thoughts, feelings and images one may get when listening to the album ‘Frames’. A visual explanation when words become too overwhelming. A brief glimpse of what music canlook like. A reminder that music is more than lyrics, notes and beats... it has texture, a vibe...it’s physical. The art is a place within the music.

13 songs.... well, technically 26. There are 2 versions of each song; the acoustic versions and studio versions. Being the brilliant artist that Lee is, depending on which version of a song I listen to, I feel different things. Hearing the same words, but running through different emotions based on the notes and beats behind those words. That speaks to how genius, and how authentic the song writing is. It comes from an honest place where he wasn’t afraid to let you see inside his heart, mind and soul. It allows the listener IN by creating music that is true to who he is. It took time to really reach down into the depths of who he is and pull all of these feelings out of his heart and soul and put them to notes...and I’m so glad it did. It’s the definition ofintegrity when making music. Each song takes you through an individual story, and when listened to in its entirety, Frames creates a world we’ve all been in, feelings we’ve all had. It’s a reminder to me that I’m not alone. There are dark times, happy moments, beginnings and endings.... and in between all of them....it’s the moments, the ‘frames’  that capture and define who we are.....

Personal Thoughts

Some of my favorite songs from Frames, ones that personally speak to who I am the most, have yet to be painted. My hope is that I’ve done both the music and art at least some justice on these pages. Hopefully, somewhere out there, someone looks at the art, listens to the music and has a better understanding of one or both, or at least another viewpoint to consider. 

Lee’s music has always spoken to me... on so many levels. Sometimes it tells my story and sometimes it gives me the words to what I’m feeling when I can’t find the words myself. Sometimes it’s my escape from the world and sometimes it’s my inspiration to do more in the world. What it alwaysis.... is something I can turn to no matter what I’m feeling. THAT is what true, honest, real music is. The difference for me between his music and anyone else’s is the place it comes from and the impact that has on what he creates with lyrics and notes. There is a depth to his music that lies between each note and within each word.... it’s why he can take one song and craft it a dozen different ways... it comes from knowing who he is both as a musician and as a person. His determination and conviction to stay true to that, even through difficulties, struggles, doubt and temptation in that business and in the world... has gotten us all here. To a place of genuine music.

Jenn-- When we started talking about the original art for The Ride and the blog post, I had NO idea it would turn into such an amazing journey. It has meant the world to me... to be trusted enough to put my words with something so close to your heart. I’ve found an amazing friend in this process and through that friendship, your consistent encouragement and your amazing art... I’ve found a little more of myself. Thank you for helping me break down some walls, for giving me an even bigger appreciation of art and for opening up the world of writing for me again. 

No matter where I go from here, I will take this journey and this music with me.... ALWAYS.

3 of 3: MY final thoughts on the visual review of Lee DeWyze's new album "Frames"

Hello! There is no better time than this exact moment to do this “Frames” review because today, I just felt extra connected to the music. 

Taking my art out of the equation for a second: One of my favorite writers out there, Sarah May Bates once wrote “There is nothing more attractive and enchanting than Authenticity” and you know what, she is right. There is nothing more beautiful and enchanting than authenticity and that is exactly what Lee DeWyze and his music is. You can sit there and compare him to bands like Mumford and sons but why, because they both have banjos? There is nothing out there exactly like Lee DeWyze and with “Frames” he proves that. Every single song is majestic, heart-stirring and awe-inspiring.

 You know you are amazing at what you do when your abilities shed light on the abilities inside of others... that other being me in this case, obviously.  Thank you Lee, from the bottom of my heart for this breathtaking album. As a fan, I am so proud of you. I am proud of you for sticking to what you believe in and not conforming to anyone else’s vision of what kind of artist you should be. I have never had so much respect for a person in my life. You inspire me, not only as an artist...but as a person. For the first time in a REALLY long time, I feel like me... I feel like people “get it” and that is an amazing feeling, and it's all because of your words & talent. Thank YOU. You were born to do this, please don't ever stop & never let the fame change you. Your mind, lyrics, melodies and soul are sheer perfection... Yet you are the most humble and down to earth person I have ever met. Your voice is like my security blanket...thank you for always being there for me with your music. "Frames" is stunning...every single track.... I absolutely love it.  

I loved every second of creating this art and I can not wait to finish the remaining songs. As you all know, I live a very busy life. With all of our traveling, I might as well be a rockstar myself. I usually forget to take time for me...having this music awaken my need to create reminds me that I need that time for myself.... To do what makes MY soul happy. I do not create my art for attention. I do not create my art for money-they will never be for sale. I create SOLELY for having the outlet to get out all these overwhelming emotions and visuals I get when listening to this music, and I get that added pleasure of knowing that people get it. They enjoy it and hopefully Lee gets it. **Warning, this is about to get incredibly real, but cheesy**...

I truly believe that I was fated to find this music and to bring it to life. I don’t listen to a song and ask myself “what can I paint that goes with this song”... I just “Feel” it and there is really no way to explain it exactly. I know I keep saying that, but it's important to me to get that point across... That this is real and I'm not just playing a part. Each song hits me like a vision. You know really, a “heavy heart” is a feeling of unhappiness according to the dictionary... however the feeling I get when I listen to this man’s voice feels like my heart is actually filling up until it’s heavy... if that makes sense... which is the exact opposite of unhappiness. It’s a confounding flood of happiness like my heart is going to burst. That is really hard to explain without sounding crazy. I, myself think it sounds crazy... So there ya go. lol, I warned you.. It sounds cheesy and there are no words to exactly describe it, but I'm doing my best. 

I’d also like to thank Mare and my sister. 

Mare, 

I have had many great friends come into my life at different crossroads. I have met SO MANY amazing people through this journey with my art and Lee’s music, But you truly get me. My art is inspired by Lee’s music.... the best way to describe this is...picture a huge, beautiful perfect bonfire. This bonfire burns bright; creating beautiful & comforting warm flames- this represents my inspiration from Lee and his music. 

When you started telling me how YOU felt about my art and how connected you felt it was to the music.... picture throwing a little gasoline on that fire.. making it brighter and twice as powerful... that is how YOU have effected my inspiration. Thank you. I love your way with words... I love how you can take the words of my favorite songwriter, add your thoughts of my interpretation of those songs... and create an even bigger picture. You are turning this beautiful illustrated story into a novel. You really should write a book. You are an amazing writer and an even more amazing person. I know you like to not put so much of yourself out there for the world, so I feel lucky that you opened up to me the way you did. I think it was also fated that we met as well. Thank you for doing this review with me... If I just wrote it alone... it wouldn’t have been nearly as special. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to my ideas, encouraging them and  even being there for me when I needed to vent about an awful & stressful day. 

Dani, 

“Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship.  ~Margaret Mead”

You and I have come a LONG way in our relationship and have been through so much...experiencing things that most kids shouldn’t have to...but I think we turned out pretty damn good. ... Don't you think? We weren't raised by a family that hugged or said I love you on a daily basis... But I can say that although we were always divided into different worlds... I couldn't have asked for a better sister . 

Thank YOU for being apart of this project with me. I loved being able to connect with you over something this special and important to me. Thank you for listening to me gush for hours over Lee’s music and listening to me talk about my paintings while on the treadmill. Instead of making fun of me and telling me I am completely nuts..... you seem to get it. You know that there is no way I can fake the excitement I get when talking about something I believe in this much.

Thank you for ATTEMPTING to help me build my own frames for the art.... we worked the saw and we still have all our fingers... “Yah!”  and most of all, Thank you for not getting mad at me when I had to send you 100 texts a day asking when you’d be finished with your write ups. LOL. Although we are polar opposites.... you are the one person on this Earth that knows all the things that make me... ME...

I am truly proud of you for the woman that you grew up to be. You are an amazing mother, you work hard and you are always out there looking to be better. I’m proud to have you as my little sister. I love you! thank you again. 

I also want to thank all of the wonderful friends I have made and the entire “FamiLEE” ..... I’m truly blessed to be apart of such an amazing fandom. Yes, there is the occasional drama... and the divide amongst groups.. but that is what makes it real... like a REAL family.... Not everyone is going to have the same thoughts on everything, or like what the other has to say all the time. But you know what? It’s the love we have for Lee and he music that keeps us there... we are all there for the same purpose... to help show the the rest of world the part of Lee that we already saw.... Thank you for encouraging me... Re-tweeting my art and all the sweet comments. I didn’t grow up in a conventional family... but you all make me feel loved, make me smile when I need it and I love you all also! :-) 

Thank you! 

- Jenn

A visual review of Lee DeWyze's new album "Frames": track #13 "Breathing In"

We have made it to the last track on “Frames”… This is going to again be just me as all I have for “Breathing in” is a sketch and a million more images floating in this brain of mine. I’m gonna share something with you that most artists don’t. I am going to give you a glimpse into my sketchbook and the initial process of how I get to the canvas. What you usually see if just the first initial sketch on the canvas, or the finished product… but what you don’t see it the chaotic mess of doodles that come first. That is how I work.

 

But first, I’m going to give you this link to check out. I usually try to give you the most current version of the songs, but when I think of “Breathing In”, I think of the very first time Lee shared this song with us via video. It didn’t even have a title yet, but to this day, it’s one of my favorite videos ever posted. It’s just him, in his element, opening up to us when he is in HIS happy place…. In the middle of creating this beautiful song. I love everything about this video. This song to me is comforting, beautiful and just instantly changes my mood. All the versions have that effect on me…. But this one…. There are just no words. I can’t even stop smiling long enough describe it for you… so jus watch it here (and be prepared to not do anything else the rest of the day because you WILL get lost…trust me) : 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD1kP6Coge0&sns=em

 

A sketch book to an artist is pretty much a diary. I carry my book with me now because you never know when the perfect image will pop into your mind. If you just picked up my book and looked at it, you’d be like she is an artist, really? Lol. That actually happened a few months ago at the BMX track. I was sketching up ideas and a 10 year old walked over, nodded and said “whatcha do’in? Writing in a diary or something?”

When I told him it was a sketch book he immediately wanted to see, so I showed him. He was quiet at first just looking up at me in confusion, and then said, “Um, I can draw way better than this...” LOL, ouch! Damn kids are honest….

I showed him pictures of what those doodles turned into and that shut him up… LOL….

 

So….. I am going to show you thise secret pages for my “Breathing In” ideas… I basically do stick figure-like drawings just to remind me of where I want something and write down all my thoughts or key words I want to focus on…

 

 

I’ll also tell you a secret…for the actually painting… I have a completely different visual that I’m pretty sure I’m gonna go with (wink) , but at least you get to see this side of art… it’s the completely stripped down naked version of the actual art.. the soul if you will… the messy, chaotic jumble of thoughts that happen when I listen to Lee’s voice and words… it really is my happy place and it’s extremely easy to get lost in there.

 

I truly hope you enjoyed this visual review of Lee DeWyze’s new Album “Frames”….

Stay tuned because we are not totally done... Mare, Danielle and I have more to say about this album as a whole and this whole experience. Also, as the songs that are only living in my mind and sketchbook come to life, I’ll be posting! 

 

Stay tuned for our Final thoughts...