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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

When your muse plays hide & seek

…..I guess that’s being a bit dramatic, huh? My Muse is not lost; sometimes I just get in a funk and cannot find him. As most of you know, about 95% of my art is inspired by Lee DeWyze. Some people can argue that a true artist can work on anything, at any time. If this is true, then I guess I am not a “real” artist. Trust me, I have tried to do subjects that are not lee related. Those turn out ok, but there is nothing there for me; I am not attached to them. I know that is hard for some people to understand, but it is what it is. 

That being said, with my “Muse” being a touring, busy musician; he is busy. I have never been a needy person, but when life gets too busy for me to draw, or I don’t see posts and tweets about Lee creating…I can’t. I need to hear the new music, I need to explore new lyrics that spark new images in my head. 
For the last month or so, between my busy life and not being as active on social media, I have felt myself falling into a creative black hole. When this happens, it actually makes me sad. I have done a few sketches in the meantime, including a self-portrait, but I wasn’t feeling them. they didn't take me to that happy place. 

This Past weekend I watched the movie “Big Eyes”, the story of Walter & Margaret Keane.

It was about the famous “Big Eye” paintings in the 60's that became famous by an artist named Walter Keane; however it turns out that Walter never painting them. As a matter of fact,he was not an artist at all. His wife, Margaret Keane had been painting them for over 10 years and keeping this inside. I can not imagine how she must have felt! To have work that means something to you and no one knows where is actually came from. There is a scene in the movie where she talks about what her “Big Eyed” children mean to her. I was so moved by her because that is how I feel about my Lee art. They are not just sketches to me, they come from somewhere special. True Inspiration. You may think you have been inspired, but you don’t realize what that actually means until it finally hits you. 
A few of my favorite quotes from the movie that struck a cord with me are: 
Margaret: "People buy art because it touches them. Walter: You’re living in fairy tale land. People buy art because it’s in [the stores and in vogue]. They don’t get to discover it."

Margaret: "Why are you lying? You are taking credit for something you didn’t do. These children are a part of my soul"

"You don’t know what it’s like to put your emotions out"

Watching this movie sort of nudged me a bit to want to get back into the sketchbook. 
Last night, my husband went out for a mountain bike ride and I decided that enough was enough. If I could not think of visuals for lyrics, I was going to go straight to the source of my inspiration and do a portrait of Lee himself. We all know I am not the best at drawing faces… I have had some trouble in the past… 
I decided to put on my headphones, listen to Lee 's music and do a portrait. I took it so seriously too! Usually I just sketch with a No. 2 pencil and use my fat fingers to smudge. This time I broke out the sketching pencils and blending sticks I bought once and never used. Boy did that make a difference! 
I have never been one to toot my own horn. Actually, I do not even think my art is THAT good. I often feel that the praise is coming in merely because of the fact that the subject is a song someone likes, or just because they are Lee DeWyze fans,. Etc. Know what I mean? I know they like it, but there is always that doubt in my mind. And faces? Forget about it. My main style has always been no faces... You know, let the gestures set the tone and emotion....
 But Mostly because I am just not good at it. For instance, I recently did a sketch for one of Lee DeWyze’s new songs; “Give me something” For the life of me, I could not do the people’s mouths. So, I just left it as is. I know I’ll never finish it…. 
Well this time, I actually drew a face! I decided to draw a picture of Lee that was taken and posted by Vox concert series. 
I was so proud of it! I mean, it actually LOOKS like Lee. I've come a long way from my first portrait where he looks like he was stung by 100 bees. Haha. When Mark came home, I lifted up my sketchbook beaming with pride like a little kid. I was like “look what I did!!!!!!”  I can honestly say that although I have other sketches that are my favorites, this is the one I am the most proud of. I still have lots of room for improvement obviously... But still! 

Thank you Lee DeWyze, as always for giving me the inspiration I need simply by just doing your thing. 

Lee DeWyze is currently on tour! Go to his website for a venue near you! Get out there and see for yourself how amazing his man is!!!