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Tuesday, May 12, 2015

INSPIRED by blood, sweat & tears: READ ME

”..And all of the ink that was bled from your hands has painted a picture that she understands…it’s amazing…” 

..WAIT…What?? …Those are not Lee DeWyze lyrics? Are they? No, they are not, They are lyrics to a song called “Amazed” by Annie Decatur Danielweksi (aka Poe) 
And why are his hands bleeding? That’s creepy….. 
Let me explain: Let’s start with the blood, as it can come across pretty creepy but I promise you it is not. The bleeding fingers represent Lee putting his all into his music. His entire heart and soul, like he always does. The birds, like in his feather tattoo are flying up representing him putting himself out there with his work and me connecting enough to visualize it. You see now? And that brings it back to that Poe lyric; “And all of the ink that was bled from his hands has painted a picture that she understands…it’s amazing” That truly IS amazing in my opinion. 
Now, on to your next question…
Why would I do a picture of Lee playing his guitar and quote another artist’s lyric? This is another example of how the “circle of inspiration” is growing and how at the strangest times all the things that mean something to me seem to come together and make sense. 
You see, It is true, I have never been inspired to create before Lee and his music. No other voice has affected me the way Lee’s has. HOWEVER, when I was in high school I was a huge fan of Poe. Her music was haunting & beautiful yet dark and angry… she “got” me. Not the way Lee’s music did, but still….. 
If I could explain the comparison on how each voice affects me differently it would be this: 
Poe’s voice and lyrics are a lot like my inner voice.. like if I was venting, hoping or just needing to shout out a scream just to feel better….  but Lee’s voice and lyrics are comforting to me, like after screaming out in frustration, his music is kind of like a comforting arm around you telling you it will be ok and taking you home. Make sense?

Although the impact Poe’s music had on me was way different than Lee’s, I have all kinds of stories about certain songs and how they fit into my life or remind me of certain events at that time… but those will stay in my head, not sure you could handle those ….
Anyway, I was listening to my iPod at work and “Amazed” came on… I have listened to this song way more than a million times over the years, I know all the lyrics by heart…. But this time, that lyric… it hit me, it made me think of how I feel being inspired by Lee’s music and there is was… a visual! I never had a visual for someone else’s lyrics ever, but when I did… it was OF Lee… weird, huh? 
I have sketched a Poe song recently that you will recognize: 

I am the kind of person that then thinks back to the “whys” I mean, it did not make me want to draw back then... but there was something about it I was drawn to… now there is a reason. Know what I mean? I’ve told you numerous times before how exhausting it is to live inside this brain, you are feeling it now, aren’t you? Ha-ha. 
I just really wanted to share that with you because as the idea came, my mind was blown and I was soooo excited. Here is a link to hear the song: http://youtu.be/smc18aecLuI 
The funny thing is, maybe about 2-3 months ago, I was listening to Poe and wondered what happened to her, was she making new music? I was able to find some stuff she has done under other names besides Poe (this having to do with a major falling out with the record label) Well I found a few songs she had done with a band called ; Conjure One. They all had a slight techno-y feel to them, which isn’t really my style, but there was this one that I am now obsessed with. It is called ‘One word” and I tell you this in all honestly, from the bottom of my heart that if you could put how Lee’s music, lyrics and voice make me feel into a tribute song…. This would be it. I am posting the link to that song below, I will warn you, the opening “music” sounds a little creepy… but keep listening, I know you will love it and you will know EXACLTY what I am talking about. 
Listen to “One word” here: 

Another cool fact about the song “Amazed” by Poe, it’s on her album called “Haunted’. It you listen to this album, as first you will be like, huh? Because each song is telling a story that doesn’t really make sense to you, with all these voices and talking before and after…. The album is a soundtrack to coincide with a book called “House of Leaves, written by her brother, Mark Danielweksi, who is an amazing writer. I am actually re-reading this book now. If you ever have a chance, purchase this album and the book. I know you will love it. 
I’d also like to add, If Lee and Poe ever collaborated, I could die happy (and yes, I have a Poe song for that too)... that would be so amazing and you have no idea how happy that would make me!!!! 


Thursday, May 7, 2015

Just a random lunch time thought….

Well, not random to me, as it usually crosses my mind a billion times a day. As you all know by now 99.9% of my sketches and paintings are inspired by Lee DeWyze and his music. I have days like yesterday where I am trying to concentrate on work and out of nowhere my mind gets flooded with all these sketch ideas that I have to hold in until I get home and hopefully have the time to sketch them out. I cannot really explain it, but it’s like a flood gate just opens and I cannot think of anything else. Although it’s frustrating when I can’t just drop everything and work on my art, I love those days. I get excited about getting them onto paper or explaining them to someone (even though there are literally only two people in the world that “get “ my ideas and can picture them as I talk. Lol) I love that. 
Then there is the other side of this creative connection…. I would never change anything about what inspires me and the way it feels, but it is frustrating that I CAN NOT and have no desire to create when I am not inspired. When I cannot create, I get sad.  I saw a perfect quote once, “Art is the overflow of emotion into action” by Brian Raif. Exactly.  It’s another thing that is hard to explain because I do not even understand it myself. I went to Art school, I could always “draw”…I just never really wanted to. I can honestly say that I cannot create until it is Lee inspired. It could be as small as knowing he is going into the studio. 
I could not have an art job where I had to go in everyday and draw what people tell me to. That does not make me happy. The ONLY time art makes me happy is when I am listening to that voice and zoning in on those lyrics where something just clicks and I need to create a visual for it. It’s my happy place, it kind of feels like when I lived at home with my grandmother if that makes sense. Like I am supposed to be there.  This bothers me sometimes. I’ve always been pretty independent and learned very young that I can’t reply on other people, so sometimes it bothers me that my creativity is 100% dependent on Lee and him creating his music. It’s the only thing that drives my creativity and that confuses me.  
Do they have support groups for this kind of thing?