The Soundtrack of Me: My happy place

Hello!

So, this time of year gets a little hard for me because this is the time of year my grandmother started to get sick and be in and out of the hospital. This, on top of everyday stresses and the blues you get from the time change kind of put me into a funk.

Luckily, music is always there. No matter what life throws at you, no matter what mood you are in music makes it better. Have you ever heard a song that just opens a floodgate of memories of certain people, places, moments in your life or something that didn’t even have a big significance…but a certain song always reminds you of it? For me, this happens ALL the time.

I am a huge believer in everyone having a soundtrack to their life. I do not think people realize just how special every individual’s soundtrack actually is. It’s just as important as photographs or diaries. There is a quote I love from Maria Von Trapp;“Music acts like a magic key, to which the most tightly closed heart opens.” I truly believe that.

I am going to take you through some of my personal life soundtrack in this post. There are songs that make me happy, sad and the ones that comfort me. There is no surprise that Lee DeWyze has become a major part of my soundtrack, so I’ll only be speaking of a few of those today. It’s no secret that his voice inspires me and comforts me and I have this entire blog site dedicated to trying to explain that. This is going to be more of the musical side of me that you don’t already know.

You’ll find that I pretty much listen to ALL types of music. For Example, one of my favorite songs is “Regulator” by Warren G. ha-ha, shocked? I do not know of any specific memory attached to this song, but I have always loved it and I get happy inside when I hear it. Lol, true story.

Or, the song from the Dirty dancing soundtrack: “Be my baby” by The Ronettes. This song will always and forever remind me of one of my best friends that now lives across the country in LA. One of our friends had a juke box and this was on it. As soon as we’d get to the party we’d play this song and dance. Sometimes the guys would actually unplug it because we played it so much. It's  small things like that, which makes music so magical. To an outsider... that story may not be that interesting. But to me, it brings back memories of fun times and makes me happy when I miss her and wished she lived closer for when I need those late night marathon diner coffee talks we used to have.

Or of course people's wedding songs… that reminds them of the day they got to marry the person they love. Mine was “My Best Friend” by Tim McGraw. Not only does this song remind me of love and Mark, it now makes us laugh because when you are dancing to it and everyone is watching you… it’s the world’s longest song. Lol. We just kept whispering to each other laughing "omg this is the longest song ever…".

Not all music memories are happy though. Like anyone that knows me knows that I am not a huge Fleetwood Mac fan. I do not dislike them though;  I love their songs…I even like Stevie Nicks, but her voice reminds me of childhood memories that make me uneasy. Now, so you know, I was never in danger or anything like that when I say this, but When I was not at my grandmother’s house... I always felt uneasy. Her house made me happy, it was a comforting safe place to me, so the times I’d have to be away from her, the songs I’d hear there just made me think of how much I wanted to be at my mom-mom’s house. Know what I mean? So I love Stevie Nick’s songs and her style… but I can not listen to her sing. I do not like the place it takes me to. It's the exact opposite of when I listen to Lee.

Another one that is forever embedded in my memory was when I was in Junior high and my mom lived a block away from the school. We saw a kid get hit by a car right in front of her house. Later that night we had to go pick up my step dad from work and the song “Second Chance” came on by 38 Special. I remember sitting in the back of the car re-playing the scene of that poor boy getting hit, then feeling so much sadness for him.. All while this song was playing. Whenever I hear it, I think about that day. (For the record, fortunately, that boy was not killed)

You all know I ramble when I have lots to say! My thoughts are often jumbled in my head, bouncing all around. It's hard to write them out when they are constantly moving! The whole point of this post was to tell you that I made a playlist to listen to when I am sad and missing my grandmother! So, here it is! It is made of songs that hold a very special place in my heart and have the power to make me feel better and closer to her! Here is the list and the why’s. Ready? :

Track 1) Miranda Lambert “The house that built me”

This one is pretty self explanatory, I feel as though I could have written this song. It describes the home I grew up in, the feeling I have now when I miss it. I wish nothing more than that when it went up for sale, I was old enough to buy it. I’d love to live there now. Creating new memories. My grandfather built that house for my grandmother. It's always been a magical place, the world was never a scary place when I was in those walls.

Track 2) Cyndi Lauper- “Time after time”

My grandfather passed away when I was in 7^th grade, so by the time I moved away to art school it was just my grandmother and me for 6 years. This song was playing on the radio as I backed out of the driveway as she stood on the porch waving goodbye when I left for the next chapter of my life.

Track 3) Lee DeWyze- “Don’t be afraid”

Did you really think Lee would not make this list? This song kind of speaks to me as a comforting pep talk. Obviously being raised by a grandparent, you know that at some point they are going to pass. I started worrying about this after my grandfather passed away. I was petrified of what I was going to do without her. Heck, I STILL am. So not only do the lyrics fit, I get the bonus of his voice saying those words… win

Track 4) Steve Wonder- “I just called to say I love you”

This was my grandmother’s favorite song! My sister and I would call her and play it over the phone, get her greeting cards that played it and sang it to her all the time. I can not listen to this song without shedding tears. I love it and it makes me feel closer to her.

Track 5) Jack Johnson- “Breakdown”

I remember being at work one day listening to my iPod while my grandmother was in Hospice. At that time it was just us waiting for that sad call. She was ready to let go. This song came on shuffle and the lyrics just hit me. I started crying and I could not stop. It kind of made me realize that I shouldn’t be so greedy in wanting her to hang on when she was ready to let go. She wanted to. That is all I have to say about this song 

Track 6) Jamie Johnson- “In Color”

This song does not have a memory attached to it per say, but if you listen to the lyrics; I just put together an entire music video of my grandparent’s old photos…..

There you have it, it is not a long playlist, but it’s just enough to comfort me when I miss her and I’m feeling overwhelmed or down. I’d love to hear what songs you have attached to certain memories! Please post them below if you’d like to share!

Real life vs LeeLand.... What's the diffrence?

 

 

Hello everyone!

So I am still in sketching mode, I am a little behind on my “sketch a day for 2014”but not by much! However, I have had time to do an actual painting… on actual canvas! (not gonna lie… it felt good) This painting “Again” was inspired by one of Lee’s newer songs of the same title

 

 

The background is an actual map that I distressed and mod podged it down on the canvas before painting my image. This painting is a large scale piece… 12” x 36”.  I’m pretty pleased with how it came out. Applying the map & mod podge and waiting to dry bit took a few days…. But the actual painting part only took about 15-20 min. There is still some detail to go back in and do, but it’s finished enough to share with you. I hope you love it, I do!

 

As always, I am constantly searching for the perfect explanation on why I paint/ sketch what I do. I am constantly asked by people (outside the Lee Fandom)…Do you ever paint anything else? Are you obsessed? What is so special about this guy’s music? And the same worry that I am limiting myself as an artist… but only painting things inspired by Lee DeWyze music.  I’d like to try and explain this again to those that don’t get it. First I will tell you that although I can draw, I don’t nessesarily have the “need” to do it unless I am inspired. Having said that, I have also been asked why I do not draw Owen, or things like that? Don’t THEY inspire you? This is the part that is hard to explain…. I love my family more than anything in the world. I have an amazing husband and son… I love them dearly, they always come first … but it’s different. When I think of them , my heart is filled with love, joy and happiness… the wishy washy love kind. They are my world.

But when I am feeling inspired…. That feels totally different…. When I am listening to music, as soon as I hear Lee’s voice and lyrics… it’s almost like a physical reaction that just comes out of nowhere and hits you. All these ideas just start coming to me, it’s like I can see the songs perfectly through closed eyes and I’m just filled with this excitement that it needs to be brought to life ASAP! This feeling is obviously stirred up while listening to the music, but a lot of times It comes to me in the middle of the night, keeping me awake. Trust me, I have NEVER had this happen to me before, so I am fully aware that it sounds over the top, but that's what happens. I'd probably think the same thing if it weren’t actually happening to me.

 

Since it is so important to me to find the right words to describe this, I was talking to Sarah Bates, an AMAZING blogger/ Author. She does the “Teaspoon of Happy” articles for HelloGiggles in Sundays. She always just has the perfect words for anything she is trying to explain to you and has been a huge help to me with a lot of things. (I ADORE her!!, she is amazing.. you should go read her work!!!)

You can read some of her work here: http://hellogiggles.com/dream-dream

 So I asked for her advice. I explained to Sarah the point I was trying to get across and she asked me, “Why is it inspiring? It's whatever stirs you deep within - some echo of a shared emotion or truth? Or just an artist that shares your exact wavelength so you hear their voice in super-surround sound. Almost like channeling…” 

Umm.. YES…. To ALL of that! That is EXACTLY what it feels like… it’s weird and I know I’ll never be able to fully explain it...but that's pretty close . Just to prove and echo what she asked me, I think I told this story before but last summer I could not sleep because I could not stop thinking about an idea for 2 paintings. It got so bad that I actually woke up in the middle of the night, sketched my two ideas & wrote out my notes and went back to bed. In the morning, I saw that Lee had tweeted almost around the same time that he could not sleep and was up writing… ooohhh…. queue the Twilight Zone music… Those two paintings were for “Fire Away” (Which I actually gave the original to Lee) and “You don’t know me”.

 

Last week, Lee was on vacation, so I did a bit of an experiment… I do not know if it was because I know vacation meant he was not writing songs snd creating ,etc… lol.. but I totally went into a creative funk… it was like I could not draw, it was weird, like I had this super power that was taken away… So I spent the week doing sketches of things that were not Lee-related… but ones that have special places in my heart:

1) A portrait of my husband and son: pretty much self explanatory. I love them with all my heart, and capped it off with a song by the Roots. “Lovey love my family”... How fitting ...

2) My cat. Although I am allergic to him…he is a kick ass cat. He thinks he is a dog, he is obsessed with me and I with him… lol… even if you hate cats, trust me… you’d love him….that is him sitting on my sketchbook because he gets jealous

3) “The Drinking Girl” by Edward McCarton- This is a statue that is on display at our local museum. I have been fascinated by it since I was little. No matter what exhibit we are going to see, I always make time to go visit her….

4) Owen on his BMX bike- My son is 6 ½ years old and is a master BMXer. Between his racing and my husband’s racing,that is all we do. We basically live rock star lives with all our travel. Lol…

5) The logo for the Stone Cat Café… my FAVORITE restaurant in the world. Seriously, out of all the nice, expensive and fancy places I’ve ever eaten…. I’ll always choose this tiny, converted old chicken coup. It’s located on Seneca Lake in upstate New York. Not only is the food amazing… it has emotional attachment for me…. It’s a super special place.

 6) my grandmother's house; the house I grew up in. It's the place I always felt the safest in, it's the place I felt the most "me", similar to the state I'm in when I'm bringing Lee's songs to life, and in the words of Miranda Lambert... It's "the house that built me". 

So since I was in this funk last week… I tried to fill that little void with sketching the things I love in real life. Almost trying to keep me grounded, ya know? I'm fully aware that I let the Lee stuff carry me away a bit. It did help though- They are all things that make me smile.  The sketches came out great I thought… they are embodying everything I love in my life…but again, they invoked that gentle loving feeling in my heart… not that spark of pure inspiration that induces the NEED to create…. Does anyone understand what I mean? Have you ever felt like this about something…. I know I said it before, but I just feel like this is what I have to do…like I am meant to do it. It’s not something that I can make a career with (unless of course I can get paid to ONLY paint Lee art) lol… I just feel I have to do it and when I can’t, it makes me sad and anxious.

I told myself I'd not write a book here, but I'll end with this... Mare actually broke it down to the simplest explanation... That makes so much sense ...(duh Jenn,face palm) the reason the Lee inspired art feels do different is because I'm creating them... I'm turning the music, my thoughts , feelings and daydreams Into something you can see also. I'm giving those things life. Those other sketches , of the things that I love more than anything? Those things already exist, they have a visual that I'm merely copying...as she put it (brilliantly I might add) " It's creation vs copying. Concrete versus abstract. Imagination versus still life. The outside world versus what you alone feel." I love my friends , it feels good to know there are people that just "get it" 

-Jenn 

A Visual album review of Lee DeWyze "Frames" - track #3 Silver Lining

 

This painting is my interpretation of Track # 3- Silver Lining. Not gonna lie, this one is going to be hard to describe. Ever have thoughts that make so much sense in your head, then when you have to say them out loud people are like, “huh?” – That is this one.

The definition of Silver Lining is a hopeful or comforting prospect in the midst of difficulty. This is pretty much straight forward. As always, the lulling voice of Lee DeWyze is telling you a story… a story of two people being there for each other to turn things around just when they need it. He never disappoints…. I love this song. The amount of compassion in that man’s voice and lyrics never cease to amaze me. (insert dreamy sigh here) …but anyway…

To create a visual scene to get this point across the only way I can describe it is this….Imagine you had an awful day, or things just aren’t going the way you planned. But then you have this amazing conversation with someone that picks up on that and turns your whole mood around. They find the positive in that situation, or it could have just been their presence that turned that unhappy situation into a comforting and hopeful one. Does that make sense? I wanted to portray that feeling of having an amazing, insightful and calming conversation with someone that picks you up, rather then make it worse or also wallow in whatever funk you were in to begin with.

My original intent was to have a realistic painting; however one day I was sitting at my son’s BMX practice listening to “Silver Lining” and just started sketching. Well, more like doodling at this point…

Obviously the people on the bench came from the first line of the song, “Remember when I met you on the park bench”    And the clouds…. It’s about silver linings…duh… haha

Well, it started out as stick figures... then as I added more to bring it to life I decided that I LOVED that look… keeping it raw because lets face it, the best conversations are raw & compassionate. Right? I felt the “sketchy” look showed you that.

Why are there no faces you ask? (Sorry Claire J !) But there are 2 reasons there are no faces:

1. Not gonna lie... I am horrible at faces…
2. I love the idea of letting the gestures tell the story. If you get the gestures and body language down… who needs to see the facial expressions… the emotion is out there and in my opinion even more honest than a smile, etc.                            …That’s my story and I’m sticking to it….

 

 Here is Mare's point of view based on knowing the music: 

Silver Lining

Silver Lining is pretty straight forward to me... both the song and the art. As I mentioned in the previous post, I got to see this painting and hear Jenn’s thoughts from sketch to canvas (actually, it’s that way for the rest of the album). I’m eternally grateful for unlimited texting plans....

Jenn’s vision of this song is essentially the same as mine.... We shared a brain often during this whole process... I should apologize to her for the state of my mind sometimes (haha). 

Instead of re-stating everything Jenn said, I’ll tell you about my favorite part of this painting. She pointed out the lack of detail in the faces. To me, the lack of detail, the sketch format.... IS the detail. It could be anyone.... A shadow of a thought. A memory. Two friends, turned towards each other... The give and take of a conversation, a relationship. 

The music and lyrics create the story in Silver Lining, starting slow and melodic, building to a faster pace and stronger vocals... returning to slow and melodic... then faster and stronger again. That’s life isn’t it? The ups and downs...finding a person to show you the positive in those down times and lifting you up and reminding you there’s always a Silver Lining... to make you stronger again.....

Here is Danielle's view based on the art alone: 

Silver Linings....ok so this painting is right up there with Hummingbird for me. Silver Linings to me is about beginnings...maybe the beginning of love..maybe the beginning of friendship or just simply the beginning of finding yourself! When I look at this painting I see a confidence in the male by his body language the way he props his arm on the bench and how his legs face his lady friend! His posture screams relief like he has finally been able to breathe...like this woman gives him a chance to be himself.  

You can see & hear Lee DeWyze singing "Silver Lining" here: in studio video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dgo145PHW0I

Lyrics for Silver Lining: 

Remember when, I met you on the park bench

And you smiled at me, and said that we should be friends

'Cause I was drowning there upon the dry land

You sat beside and put your hand in my hand

So you picked me up and you put me in a straight line

You looked at me, and said that it would be fine

If we take the time, to find, the silver lining

We can make these cryin' waters into wine

And We'll be alright

And we'll be alright

They, they don't know our hearts

They, won't break us apart

We, we don't have so much but

We, all we need is us

Remember when, I found you on the cold ground

You were looking up as the sky was looking down

And you said that you were jealous of the bright stars

I said darling you'll be brighter than they all are

And then I picked you up and I put you in a straight line

I looked at you, and said that it would be fine

If we take the time, to find, the silver lining

We can make these cryin' waters into wine

And We'll be alright

And we'll be alright

(1,2,3,4)

They, they don't know our hearts

They, won't break us apart

We, we don't have so much but

We, all we need is us

If we take the time, to find, the Silver Lining